More than We Can Handle?

I recently was talking with someone to whom several bad experiences had happened in a fairly short span of time. As we talked about all the things that had happened, this person quoted to me something I often hear Christians say when things in their lives seem to be "going south": "God never gives us more than we can handle."

I've had problems with this statement for some time. First, God doesn't "give us" the bad things that happen in our lives. Some bad things happen as the consequences of our own actions; others happen because our world is an imperfect world in which bad things happen (war or illness and disease, for example); still others, such as "acts of God" (tornados, hurricanes, etc.) are simply a part of the weather pattern that results from the interaction of high and low pressure fronts across the earth. Our God is a God of love. In fact, God is love (1 John 4:8). How could a God whose very essence is love intentionally set out to "give us" bad things in our lives?

Secondly, I am aware of people who have had things happen to them that they could not handle. The horrible things that have happened to people have resulted in psychological problems at best and in suicide at worst. None of them would say, "God never gives us more than we can handle."

The greatest flaw in this statement is that we have once again approached what happens to us in our lives from the standpoint of what we can do about it. The truth is that there are many things that can happen to us that we can't handle, but there is nothing that can happen to us that God can't handle. The scripture upon which I suspect this little saying was based is from 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it."

Eugene Peterson's The Message puts it this way: "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course o what others have had to face. All you to need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it."

When we say, "God never gives us more than we can handle," we are misinterpreting what these verses really say. Once again we've taken a characteristic belonging to God and made it into something about us. We've opted to try to take control of our lives instead of trusting that God can manage whatever might happen to us. This does not mean we shouldn't try to get human help as well. We may, in fact, need a great deal of human help getting out of an abusive relationship, the use of addictive substances, or any number of other situations in which we find ourselves. God has given us human helpers as one means through which God can work. God has led humans to create programs that may help with some of the problems we encounter.

Finally, It is important to remember that God is never the one who "gives" us our problems as well as to remember that "all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). Once again, it is about trusting that our loving God will work with us "to provide a way out so that [we] may be able to endure" whatever happens to us.

NEW IS NOT ALWAYS EASY

A new house with new furniture is heady stuff! It's exciting, terrifying, and mind-boggling. Few people get to purchase a new house and put all new furnishings in it at the same time.

We bought our dining room set a few days ago, believing it will meet the needs of the size and make-up of our family. Now I must avoid looking a dining room sets lest I discover that I have made a poor choice, or that there was one out there that would have been so much better. It's preferable to believe that what we have will be wonderful and look forward to the many family memories that will be created around it.

Choosing the dining room set, once I found one that seemed to fit our criteria, was not nearly as difficult as planning the decorations for our living room. First, we found two different living room sets that we liked. Should we go with seafoam green or cinnabar red? The decision to go with the red set has produced another whole set of decisions: Should we get a loveseat or a chair? Should we keep everything red or mix things up? Do we need a rug to tie things together?

Changes in our lives seem to always require decisions. Decisions about decorating a house, while they seem important at the time, are not the kinds of decisions that will matter much in the long run. There are other kinds of decisions where the outcome is much more critical: How will I react to a change in relationship with a family member? How will I (or will I) help someone I know is in need?

There have been many changes in our nation as well. While we are a country that believes in the separation of church and state, we are at war with a country where its politics and religious ideology are mixed up together. Many articles have been written supporting this war including many from a Christian perspective. Often they cite the evil that is being carried out as the reason for supporting the war.

We often forget that Jesus and his followers were also confronted with evil. They lived in the kind of society we fear: one in which they were persecuted, jailed, and even killed for their beliefs. Jesus was killed because he was perceived to be an enemy of the Roman Empire as much as because he challenged the religious leaders of his day. I don't believe Jesus agreed with the evil perpetrated by the Romans. Yet we have no record of Jesus inciting his followers to take up arms against them. Instead, he said, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also (Luke 6:27-29).

When we read this passage, we think of the neighbor next door with whom we have a disagreement, or the person at work whose work ethic drives us crazy, or the competitor who stole our great idea. The attack on September 11, 2001 was a strike on our cheek by our enemy. People in favor of the war often suggest that pacifism is doing nothing. I would suggest that it is doing nothing only when we do nothing. Loving, doing good, blessing and praying are far from doing nothing. These are all active verbs that require much of us. When Christians find the courage to be Jesus to others rather than doing what is "logical," we will be able to claim the peace Jesus brings, rather than living with fear on our faces and anger in our voices.

This is a new world, and change is not always easy. Nonetheless, Jesus offers us a formula for living with our enemies. Do we have the courage to follow it?

THE OLD IS PAST, THE NEW IS COME

There was much about our old home that I loved, especially the remodeled kitchen, the four-season porch and the deck. The porch and the deck were my spaces for the retreat, meditation, relaxation and general "self-care" in which we clergy are so strongly encouraged to indulge. The porch had windows on three sides, the better to let in the light on short, gloomy winter days. The porch was on the northeast corner so that one could enjoy the cool light in the mornings and avoid the heat in the late afternoons. I read many books and wrote many papers for seminary while sitting on either the porch or the deck.

There were also things about our old home that I didn't like so much. While I was in seminary, the clutter on the lower level got ahead of me, and I never seemed to be able to find the time to redeem the space. Boxes and papers were stacked around the family room, and I often felt overwhelmed when I went downstairs. This occurred rather frequently since our bedroom was on the lower level as well.

Now there has been a fire, and we have lost much that we loved. We have also lost much that we will never miss: the clutter, the unused things we owned that we hadn't gotten around to throwing out or sharing with others, the stacks of papers that I thought were important (some of them were) but had never had the chance to file.

Fire is invasive, destructive, terrifying. Yet, even as it burns away the trees of a forest, it makes new life possible. The fire at our home was invasive, destructive, and terrifying. But we are no longer burdened by the thick vegetation and dead wood of our past. We have received the opportunity to begin a new life in a new home with new furnishings. We have received the hope of a new future in a new place, and we know not what adventures this change will bring.

Likewise with the fire of the Spirit, our lives may be invaded and changed in terrifying ways. But the ultimate outcome is that we are able to leave the dead wood behind and live in ways that are filled with new life, new hope, and new adventures.

Storms of Fire

It has been three weeks since the fire took our home. Apparently it smoldered in the garage for hours before it burst into flame, hungrily consuming everything until only black ash and pieces of unrecognizable "stuff" remained. Not willing to stop there, the tongues of fire sought further food, reaching upward into the roof before fire departments could arrive to resist their efforts. Fire turned to flood as the roof collapsed into the house, and the lower level filled with four feet of water: water that saved much of the house from burning yet destroyed most of what was not burned.

It was an unbelievably noisy storm, we are told, for we were on another continent that day. There were lightning strikes too many and too frequent to count. We were told the lightning strike report for that day covering a one-mile radius from our home was over an inch thick.

We are grateful that no one was home. Otherwise the results could have been worse. But of our two cats, Smokey and Shadow, only Shadow survived. Why did the two brothers who always did everything together decide to go in different directions this time? Of all the "things" we lost, it is the loss of Smokey that always makes me weep. They had never been apart, and Shadow, who was always the quiet one, now cries for his brother along with me.

The storm that stole so much from us has not quieted; it goes on in my heart as I am overwhelmed by the many duties, responsibilities and requirements that follow such a disaster. There have been few quiet moments of reprieve. Yet I find I'm not sure I want them because then there is too much time to think. Sometimes I feel as though the fire is burning inside me, consuming the strength and faith I rely on.

Yet there is much good that will come from this. We think we have found a new home. We are excited about new possibilities and new furniture and new journeys. God walks with us and comforts us and guides us each day. We trust that when things get difficult, we will look back and see only one set of footprints--those of God as we are carried in God's loving arms. For we know that each day is a journey, and for today we are...traveling in faith.